I just came home from seeing Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.

It was - okay, I guess. I'm possibly being unfair to it - I might have liked it far better if I'd never seen the first movie, or maybe if I had merely liked The Curse of the Black Pearl, the way audiences are supposed to. If I hadn't been fannish about it.

There were things I liked - Salazar was a surprisingly cheerful villain, the island of stars was quite pretty, and having a character with my name, well - I liked her a bit, though maybe not as much as she might have deserved in a different movie (and I found the constant witch accusations tiresome and not particularly amusing, though I suppose that's what they were meant to be - even in the chronological hodgepodge of the PotC movies (the guillotine would make it late 18th century, yes?) , to have a woman who shows an interest in basic astronomy immediately decried as a witch by every passing stranger? The only part more tiresome was the horologist "joke".)

Apart from that - truth be told, neither Carina Smyth nor Henry Turner had much in the way of charisma, and they are certainly no replacement for Will and Elizabeth. The plot was a dizzying mess of constantly changing ships and battles and some occasionally nice special effects and random weirdness thrown in.

And then there was Jack - Jack the Sparrow, apparently. Jack - who felt neither particularly mad nor brilliant here. Surprisingly spry for a man who is supposed to be literally old enough to be grandfather of the new young couple. But mostly - he just made me feel sad. This wasn't the brilliant trickster pirate I fell in love with all those years ago, who made me finally sit down and write and move from lurker to actively writing and being in fandom. Even the battle scenes where you could tell they were trying to remake some of those brilliant improvisation during combat things from the early movies - they felt flat.

But maybe I'm being unfair. I probably am.

I will say this: it felt like this movie tied up most of the plotlines of the earlier movies - the Black Pearl is released from her bottle prison, Will Turner is freed from the Dutchman and reunited with Elizabeth (though we missed them getting introduced to the young lady, who is no doubt their son's future wife, and reacting to her parentage), and Jack ends this movie - well - basically like he ended the first. At the helm of the Black Pearl, setting sail for the horizon.

I kinda hope they end it here. It felt done. I'm not overwhelmingly enthusiastic about the film, I admit that, but really - it felt like a good place to stop.
blnchflr: Captain America Civil War (Default)

From: [personal profile] blnchflr


I don't have the impression this move is any artist's labour of love, but purely a money-making enterprise, so I cannot imagine that you're being unfair :)
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