Ponderings

You know what's funny? "Falling into Heaven, Falling into Hell". No, I do not mean it's slapstick or intented purely as silliness or anything. I mean it's funny the way I appear to be writing it. You see, it's downright strange at times. This is the first fanfic I posted and I'm still writing it (and I am still very fond of it and fully intend to finish it - eventually). My original hope was to finish it before it became - well, even more AU. I no longer have that hope, it is not realistic. Which is funny, because the odd thing is, I know this story. I know what's going to happen. I have events, plotline, sentences, stuff - piles of it - all up in my head. I know where they go from here. I've known the general plotline all along. I add to it, as things spring to mind, but by now it's mostly small things. Details. But mostly I know this story. Which is occasionally annoying, because I know that's what makes me write so slowly. You see, I am a person who loves stories. And in this case that's a problem - because I always crave more. So if the choice is between reading a book (like, say: "The Island of Captain Sparrow" by S. Fowler Wright (a very good book, by the way, even if it isn't our Captain Sparrow)) or see a movie (like Mary Bryant) or reading someone else's fanfic - and on the other hand writing, sitting down and revisiting this story that I already know and know well, this story that somehow shrinks when I put it down on paper (because in my head it's a masterpiece, worthy of the Nobel prize, but unfortunately it's a mess in my head - sentences in English, sentences in Danish, bits that seem like a movie). Well, trouble is, most of the time I choose the book/movie/fanfic/comic/television. Personally, I prefer writing in bits and pieces. Give me ½ hour on a train, a 5 minute break between lessons, 10 minutes of waiting before the doors open to admit you to the cinema. Don't give me a day of nothing else. But of course, this is a problem these days, because I currently have piles of free time. And so my writing slows down to a crawl and it bothers me. Sometimes I think I could use a someone to ask me "How far are you?" regularly, forcing me to have something new written to answer with every time - not a chapter, but at least a little. Sometimes. Because I actually like writing this story, make no mistake. Not to mention the satisfaction of posting a chapter. But it goes slowly and truth be told, sometimes I would sincerely wish that it went just a bit faster.