I admit it, I am a fictional creation and the world is written by Kafka

 I've just sent the most pissed-off / polite e-mail I think I've ever written. If that doesn't work, I'll try phone and ordinary letters. If that doesn't work either, I'll change my name to Josef K.

I find it interesting that the only place to find this very interesting bit of news is tucked away in an obscure corner of DR's webpage. It's almost as if they are intentionally hiding it...