I went to see Valhalla

And now I've just gotten home and I'm still going "What the fuck did I just watch?!"

I mean, to be positive - visually, it definitely has its moments, and there were some fine castings - Røskva really looks like a Røskva, Roland Møller is an okay Thor, Dulfi Al-Jabouri would have worked better as Loke for me if they hadn't had him in an Aragorn getup and made him even more of an asshole than in the comics and animated movie combined, but that's hardly the actor's fault. Quark - maybe should not have been played by an adult. Some of the effects worked fairly well - the goatly resurrection was nice and creepy and understated - others... not so much. (The Jotuns looked like a bunch of LARP'ers who really needed a bath or ten.)

As for the rest...

( Cutting for serious spoilers. )