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Fandom: Supernatural
Disclaimer: SPN does not belong to me.
A/N: Angsty ficlet, went AU in the middle of 5.22.
The grass is soft against his cheek and fingers are sliding through his hair.
He looks at the grass, green stalks right in front of his eyes, dancing slightly in the mild breeze. He digs his fingers experimentally into the ground. It’s soft and warm and…
He closes his eyes, rolls over onto his back and lies blinking until the dancing spots go away.
The fingers are still threading through his hair.
“Gabriel?”
The fingers pause for just a moment.
“Right here, kiddo.”
“Where are we?”
He thinks it’s a sigh he feels, rising and falling against his side.
“What’s the last thing you remember, Sam?”
He looks up at a cloud. It reminds him of something, but he’s not quite sure what.
“I think – I think I said yes.”
“Yeah.”
“We were – we were going to trick him. You’d have been so proud, Gabriel. You’d have been so proud of us. Except…”
He closes his eyes against the memories, against the tarnished gold, against the drowning, the burning.
Gabriel is a warm presence next to him, a hand reaching out to squeeze his.
“I know. I was watching, hoping you’d make it. Praying.”
He opens his eyes, looks back up at the cloud. Tries not to remember the tarnished gold, tries to only recall the sudden, dizzying brightness.
“You – you came back for me.”
He’s not quite sure why he’s clutching at Gabriel’s hand.
“Yeah. I waited until I was absolute sure it wouldn’t work. I’m sorry.”
The cloud isn’t fluffy or white.
“Why are you sorry? If…”
“Because I think I waited too long.”
The hand unwinds from his, starts stroking him. It’s warm.
He lies a bit, looking up at the cloud. It’s funny, it kind of almost looks like…
“Dean! Where’s Dean?”
He didn’t notice sitting up.
“He’s not here. I’m sorry.”
Gabriel’s arms are wrapped around him, warm, safe, immovable.
“Dammit, Gabriel, let me go. I need to find him. I said let me go.”
The arms don’t budge.
“I’m sorry, Sammy. I can’t.”
Eventually he stops struggling.
“Come on, Sammy. Let’s lie back down, yeah?”
And they do.
“Gabriel, please let me go?”
The fingers are threading through his hair again.
“I can’t, kiddo. I wish I could, I really do, but I can’t.”
He feels the tears pressing on.
“Please.”
Lips ghost over his forehead.
“I’m sorry.”
It doesn’t stop the tears.
“Why can’t you?”
“Because there isn’t anywhere else.”
He presses his forehead against Gabriel’s warm chest, letting the fingers slide through his hair, down his shoulders.
“Gabriel, where are we, really?”
The fingers still, again.
“I took you, Sammy. I kept you.”
He blinks.
“I’m – I’m in you?”
“Yes.”
“Then – where are you?”
He feels the sigh more than he hears it.
“Nowhere. I’m nowhere, kiddo.”
“Oh.”
He rolls over, lets his head be cushioned against the warm chest. Arms fold around him, warm and safe. After a little while, he slides into sleep.
He wakes to a view of clouds. He thinks they’re supposed to remind him of something, but he’s not sure what. In fact…
“Gabriel?”
The hand stroking his thigh stills for a moment.
“Right here, kiddo.”
He stares up at the clouds, blinks.
“Where are we?”
He feels the sigh, rising and falling.
“What’s the last thing you remember, Sam?”