Meme part deux

[oneiriad]

Sorry, but I got lost in procrastination, so it has taken a bit to get around to the answers to the 15 characters meme.

Anyway, my list:

1. Captain Jack Sparrow (PotC)
2. Commodore James Norrington (PotC)
3. Jack Shaftoe (Neal Stephenson)
4. Spike (Buffy)
5. Lestat de Lioncourt (Vampire Chronicles)
6. Dr. Stephen Maturin (Audrey/Maturin novels)
7. Morpheus (Sandman)
8. Marquis de Carabas (Neverwhere)
9. Sawyer (Lost)
10. The Corinthian (Sandman)
11. Loke (Norse mythology)
12. Death (Sandman)
13. Taz the Tasmanian devil
14. Steve (Coupling)
15. Crowley (Good Omens)

And on to the questions:

From  order_of_chaos, who simply couldn't stop[Unknown site tag]If 1 and 15 teamed up together to kill 13, what are their chances of sucess, and why?
Well, Captain Jack is very sneaky-smart, and Crowley has the whole demon thing going for him. On the other hand, Taz is a cartoon and therefore notoriously hard to kill. So, I guess the pair of them don't stand a chance...

What is 9's opinion on sardines and tomatoes on toast?
Well, I have no idea if Sawyer likes it, but if not, I'm sure he could find someone who does and trade for something he wants.

If 2,3, and 7 were marooned on an island (not desert, for a change), what would they do about it? And who would end up in charge (if anyone) or dead (also if anyone)?
Well, Morpheus would probably just leave, being an anthropomorphic personification and all that. I doubt an island could hold him. Now, Jack Shaftoe might be just the right amount of bold to try to "hitch a ride" and nice enough to take James along, but if that  doesn't work out, I'm sure the pair of them can figure out how to make something seaworthy (James is a sailor by profession, after all) without killing each other, even if they will probably be very annoyed at each other before the end. Or they might just break down and have hot monkey sex somewhere along the way, considering that Shaftoe has some remarkable similarities to Sparrow (well, hopefully not the half-cocked part). Now there's a thought for a pairing, actually. I have encountered Sparrow/Shaftoe, but has anybody written Shaftoe/Norrington? (Would that be Shaftington?)

How would 4,5 and 8 go about taking over the world? And which would be the leader and which the loyal second in command, and which the evil minion?
Problem is that I don't think any of them would care to actually take over the world. But I'm sure that Lestat would consider himself the leader and Carabas would be the manipulative power behind the scenes. And Spike would probably be elsewhere, doing his own thing...

Would 6 and 10 make good parents (if not, what sort would they make) and what would their kids be called? Assume use of wierd alien technology to create the kids if 6 and 10 are the same sex.
Well, Stephen will probably make a nice enough father, but I'm less certain about the Corinthian. No idea about the names of the children, but they would probably wind up being half-nightmares with strong animal features - and at least one has to be a debauched sloth.

If 11 and 12 got drunk, what would they do that they'd wish they didn't remember the next morning?
No clue, except that I hope it has something to do with Loke's ability to change shape and gender as he pleases. I wonder if Death ever spent one of her days among the Vikings...

Which of the other numbers would 14 most like to...
a) kill  b) have sex with  c) get drunk  d) work with  e) all of the above.
... and why?
I doubt Steve would kill anybody - and since I don't really see the Steve/Jeff slash, I suppose the sex would have to be Death (unless she scares him) and possibly Loke in woman form. Mind you, several of the gentlemen might decide to attempt to seduce him, too - especially Jack Sparrow, who would probably like to interest him in a threesome with himself and the good Commodore. Getting Steve drunk would probably be part of the plan... and doing that can probably be handled by anybody not trying to kill or scare him. Same goes for work with. Anyway...

And the questions from circeniko
Okay, 7 and 15 are in a relationship, but 7 is cheating on 15 with someone else, who?
Firstly, I doubt Morpheus would cheat when in a relationship. Secondly, even if he did, I'm sure Crowley is smart enough not to complain, considering Morpheus' temper and relationship history. Thirdly, no idea who, except I very much doubt that it would be his sister...

3 and 9 turn out to be long lost siblings, how do they react to this?
Sawyer probably tries to use it to his advantage. Shaftoe probably does likewise. But my mind is too busy boggling at the idea to be able to elaborate.

1 turns out to be an international spy, how is he/she/it discovered and by whom?
Easy, Jack Sparrow as international spy is discovered by James Norrington, who discovers him while he is saving a lady. And thus starts a very long game of cat and mouse, where turns are taken at being cat.

elessil's questions next
3, 6 and 7 are drifting on a plank. 1 and 8 swim up to them, but the plank is only large enough for three of them. Who will push whom off; and who will survive?
Again, Morpheus can just leave. Mind you, both Sparrow, Shaftoe and Carabas will probably try to make him take them along with him, which might possibly leave poor Maturin clinging to the plank, wondering where everybody went. Unless they take him along with them to the Dreaming so he can meet the Corinthian and have the aforementioned children with it...

Which piece of 12's clothing would 4 steal and why?
Her ankh - although if Spike knows what is good for him he probably won't. Maybe her tophat?

Whom would 14 invite to his stag night/her hen's party; and what would they do if 2 suddenly showed up? Who would be the most likely to get them terribly drunk?
Again, anyone not likely to kill him or try to eat his eyes or the other guest. And if Norrington showed up, well, Steve might faint. And Jack Sparrow will try and get the pair of them drunk and into bed with him... or just with each other, while he watches.

Finally, black_claw's questions
If 5 walked in on 3 and 8 having sex, what would he/she do?
Probably join in and possibly finish by eating the pair of them.

Number 15 wants to buy #13 a birthday present and asks #1 for help. What would they end up with?
No clue, but if they know what is good for them it better be something eadible, and knowing Sparrow there will probably be rum involved somewhere.

Comments

[teh-farmer.livejournal.com]

Shaftington
*snicker*

It seems Jack keeps seeing Norrie double! *grins*

Mmmmh, rum!

[elessil.livejournal.com]

Again, anyone not likely to kill him or try to eat his eyes or the other guest. And if Norrington showed up, well, Steve might faint. And Jack Sparrow will try and get the pair of them drunk and into bed with him... or just with each other, while he watches.

Jack Sparrow is SUCH a wise men. And poor Steve, frightened by half the assortment of the fellows.

[elessil.livejournal.com]

(man, even, although he's schizophrenic)